Today I am officially 20 weeks pregnant, or half way through a 40 week pregnancy. It is unbelievable that we are only half way after all we have gone through. I really can't fathom 4 1/2 more months, but would be so thankful if the baby could spend that much more time developing inside me. I always wonder what the next 20 weeks will be like. Will I be on bed rest the whole time? How early will the baby come? Is there a chance I get better and go back to regular life?
It's difficult to have life on-hold with so much uncertainty, especially since I am such a planner. I can't tell my work when I will return. We had to cancel our Disney Vacation in September. I can't take the kids to Chicago to support my husband when he runs his first Marathon in October. I'm hoping to find a way to make it to my son's first soccer game in September - really don't want to miss it. Who knows what Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas will be like. When I first found out my due date, all I hoped was that the baby would not be born on Christmas. Now we would all probably see that as a Christmas miracle.
Today I also went to the doctor, had an ultrasound and bloodwork (scheduled appointment).
Good News: Baby is ok in really every way. He is measuring a week and a couple days big, so if he comes very early he has a better shot of survival. I am not showing any signs going into preterm labor yet (cervix is as it should be at this stage). I am no worse off than last time, and haven't had any additional surprises or complications.
Same or Bad News: Placenta is still really low. Placenta still has marginal abruption (tearing from uterus). Hemorrhage still there, blood clot still there. Still bleeding, but a little less (and a little more old blood than new blood which apparently is good). There is blood floating around in the amniotic fluid - I think this is new (need to keep an eye on that since I am Rh negative).
Next steps: At least 2 more weeks of bedrest, but probably more. In a month the baby is viable and I spend more time with the maternal fetal medicine high risk specialists.
The ultrasounds these days are so much different than before. When this baby reached 15 weeks, we went to an ultrasound boutique to find out the gender 4 weeks earlier than the doctor would do it. I brought the kids and we saw the 4D version and all had fun seeing the baby and finding out the gender together. I told everyone it was so great because the kids were involved and we just concentrated on the baby and none of the boring stuff like placenta, etc. Now the tables are turned and I can't wait to the next ultrasound to find out about hemorrhage size, placenta position and condition, etc.
This week I am especially thankful for my kids and that they are handling this so well. They understand why I have to be in bed. They are really sweet and want to help. They bring me water and snacks and like to cuddle up next to me and enjoy snacks, reading, watching TV, coloring and playing iPad games with me. I still get to read them stories and sing songs at bedtime, it's just in my bed instead of theirs. I still get to fix my daughter's hair every morning. They let me rest but sometimes sneak up to give me a hug and kiss. I am really pleased they are self-sufficient enough to get dressed, play independently, clean up the game room, etc so that this is a little easier on everyone. I am also very thankful this happened on my third and last pregnancy, rather than the first. I don't know if we would be brave enough to try again after such a rough pregnancy.
Thanks again to everyone for the continued prayers and support. You encourage me to somehow look beyond the day-to-day and how far away 20 more weeks sounds, and rather help me keep faith that in the end I will deliver a healthy baby boy.
