The past 2 days have been very tough. Last week I said our next mini- milestone was 25 weeks. It was only a week away and seemed like something to be achieved easily by hanging out, visiting with the family and entertaining myself with my iPad/netflix. But being on top of 25 weeks now I feel like I have climbed Everest. And I'm currently trying to regroup and find strength because there is more to come.
On Monday we received bad news on the placenta, but I still felt fine. As the day went on, nurses and doctors got more and more concerned. We went to nonstop monitoring, IVs and loss of privileges like eating, drinking, getting out of bed. That night they made the call to send me to labor and delivery for better monitoring. I did not want to go but could not fight it. I really couldn't move for about 36 hrs. Keeping a tiny baby on the monitors is a lot harder than when you are full term and in labor. You have to lie still and get checked on/adjusted after any slight movement, so sleeping more than 45 mins is impossible, and the back and neck strain from trying to be still became unbearable. I just wanted to make it through the night to tuesday morning and get back to my room, eat, etc. Setbacks kept delaying us - spikes in bleeding, stronger and regular contractions, low blood count results. The best result was another ultrasound showing I was no worse off than Monday.
We finally got back to the room by late afternoon Tuesday. My husband got me the best treat I have ever tasted. - J.Alexanders carrot cake. I was going to save it, but instead devoured it when I felt some symptoms and was afraid they would revoke eating privileges again. Back in my room my nurses were so happy to see me. One gave me a long massage. I know that is not in her job description but I am so thankful. Back in my room, I was still on constant monitoring and bed confinement, and knew doctors orders were that I could be released from these shackles if I could make it through the night still stable. I prayed a lot and made it. My overnight nurse was proud of how well I did.
My doctor is off on Wednesdays. I waited and waited for my good news this morning. I waited patiently and motionless forever. A creepy doctor finally came in at 9am which is really late for rounds. He said he would not release me from monitoring or bed confinement until the bleeding stopped. I said that will never happen, I have been bleeding for 7 weeks. He coldly said let's watch it for a couple more days. I cried for 45 minutes. You should have seen the monitors then, I couldn't breathe and was almost convulsing. I feel kind of silly admitting how emotional and broken I was, but I had struggled so long for the simple goals of being able to move, go to the bathroom and clean myself. My husband came to my rescue. One of the high risk doctors came in and I begged to be free, she agreed like it was no big deal since that was the plan all along. We are trying to figure out how to ban the mean creepy doctor and keep him away from me and off making any decisions about me.
Now I am relieved and things are looking up. I am extremely blessed with my husband who has been such a support. I could not have made it without his love and encouragement. I am so thankful for him being with me. This is more than I could have imagined during the "in sickness and in health" that we talked about in our wedding vows so many years ago. I know we are in this together and I can get through more setbacks - just hope we get a few more good days in the meantime.
I am thankful for all the encouragement and prayers during our time of need. My husband read all your notes to me and you encouraged us both. I don't know what a new realistic new goal is, probably 26 weeks. Lately we have only talked about staying stable. So I will just take it day by day and count every day past 25 weeks as a blessing for us.
