Welcome Jacob!

Yesterday, Friday September 17 at 2:33 am, our son Jacob was born. He was 25 weeks, 2 days gestational age, weighing 1 pound, 15 ounces, and 11 3/4 inches long. It has been quite a journey to this point, ending with both my greatest fear, and the greatest miracle and answer to prayer.

Thursday had been a great day on bed rest, I was feeling better and bleeding was light to medium, a huge improvement from earlier that week. I had two great visits with the kids that day, and my husband was with me all day long, working from my hospital room.

In the middle of the night, I felt some bleeding so woke up to use the bathroom. I felt lightheaded which can be normal after losing so much blood earlier in the week and being confined to my bed. But this time was different, much worse. I could not make it back to my bed and somehow ended up on the floor. I wanted to stay there but knew I had to make it to my bed to press the nurse call button. Somehow I did. Instantly 4 nurses descended on room (they must have heard the trouble in my voice). They said I was clammy and cold. I began to feel severe abdominal pain, they put me up on the baby monitor and I could not hear that familiar rhythmic beat. No baby's heartbeat, I was in pain and feeling sick and begged them to call my husband. I kept asking about the heartbeat, finally they said they found it, but it was 70 bpm instead of the usual 140. I knew it was time, they rushed me into the Operating Room. Everything happened so quickly, yet seemed to take forever. Jacob was delivered less than 20- 30 minutes from when I woke up.

On the way to the Operating room and later on the OR table waiting for general anesthesia, I was pretty calm, I had my eyes closed. I didn't ask questions but stayed still and did whatever they asked me to do and answered their questions. I was praying for Jacob, for him to hold on and make it through the rescue cesarean. Hours earlier when I fell asleep Thursday night, I prayed for God to teach me how to rely more on Him and Him alone. Up to that point, I had relied on God, but also on my husband, family, friends for strength. The encouragement and prayers literally around the world had sustained and helped me so much to this point. But now I was alone in a crowded and frantic Operating Room with only God to rely on. I felt peace and faith that Jacob would survive....

When I woke up, my husband was there as well as many doctors and nurses. I learned Jacob was ok and in the capable hands of the NICU team. But I also learned that we had survived my greatest fear of the last 7 weeks- I had an almost complete placenta abruption meaning the placenta had pretty much entirely separated from the uterine wall, which is one of the most dangerous pregnancy complications for mom and baby. Behind the placenta were several huge fist-sized clots, and my uterus was full of blood. The umbilical cord was wrapped around Jacob's neck 3 times. We were later told that Jacob was born completely unresponsive. But his NICU doctor said it was a textbook resuscitation that could have been videotaped for teaching purposes. He was pushing back tiny breaths on the bag by the time they were heading through the NICU doors. His doctor says he must not have been under very long because of how quickly he came back. Praise God. My blood count was "in the toilet," a direct quote from the doctor. I had every blanket from the 3rd floor on me to raise my body temperature while receiving the rest of my blood transfusion. I was described as looking grey, which sounds awfully strange. Everything had gone wrong, but we survived. An answer to prayer, God DID Protect.

I have so much to be thankful for. Being in the hospital: Jacob certainly would not have survived if this abruption had happened anywhere else. I could have died as well from all the blood loss. Waking up at 2 am and going to the bathroom: if I would have slept minutes longer or if I was still confined to bed, then I would never have noticed and reported anything to the nurses and it would have been too late for Jacob. Remember the creepy doctor that wanted me to stay in my bed? Well if he had his way, I would have stayed in bed bleeding rather than getting up to check on it, and would have never noticed the lightheadedness from the even more critical internal bleeding, and it would have been too late. Another doctor and the nurses repeatedly encouraged me to take sleeping pills that night, which for some reason I stubbornly refused -imagine if I was sleeping too soundly to wake up? I am also so thankful for reaching 25 weeks + 2 days to allow Jacob to mature that much more. Jacob is stable now, we know there will be good days and bad days along the way, but we know with continued faith, love and excellent care from a really great NICU team, he will continue to grow and develop and come home with his mom, dad, sister and brother who love him so much.

Thanks again to family and friends close and far for all the encouragement and prayers. You have touched and sustained us more than we could have ever imagined. Thanks to my sister who rushed to be at my side and of course my husband who was there when I woke up - they visited and touched Jacob to show him our love before I could visit him. My parents got the kids to school and both my sister and our sons friend hosted individual sleepovers for the kids so my husband could stay with me all day and all night to take care of me and nurse me back to health.

Thanks for continued support and prayers for Jacob - we expect him to be in the hospital until December, and will not be complete until we can bring him home.

25 WEEKS!

The past 2 days have been very tough. Last week I said our next mini- milestone was 25 weeks. It was only a week away and seemed like something to be achieved easily by hanging out, visiting with the family and entertaining myself with my iPad/netflix. But being on top of 25 weeks now I feel like I have climbed Everest. And I'm currently trying to regroup and find strength because there is more to come.

On Monday we received bad news on the placenta, but I still felt fine. As the day went on, nurses and doctors got more and more concerned. We went to nonstop monitoring, IVs and loss of privileges like eating, drinking, getting out of bed. That night they made the call to send me to labor and delivery for better monitoring. I did not want to go but could not fight it. I really couldn't move for about 36 hrs. Keeping a tiny baby on the monitors is a lot harder than when you are full term and in labor. You have to lie still and get checked on/adjusted after any slight movement, so sleeping more than 45 mins is impossible, and the back and neck strain from trying to be still became unbearable. I just wanted to make it through the night to tuesday morning and get back to my room, eat, etc. Setbacks kept delaying us - spikes in bleeding, stronger and regular contractions, low blood count results. The best result was another ultrasound showing I was no worse off than Monday.

We finally got back to the room by late afternoon Tuesday. My husband got me the best treat I have ever tasted. - J.Alexanders carrot cake. I was going to save it, but instead devoured it when I felt some symptoms and was afraid they would revoke eating privileges again. Back in my room my nurses were so happy to see me. One gave me a long massage. I know that is not in her job description but I am so thankful. Back in my room, I was still on constant monitoring and bed confinement, and knew doctors orders were that I could be released from these shackles if I could make it through the night still stable. I prayed a lot and made it. My overnight nurse was proud of how well I did.

My doctor is off on Wednesdays. I waited and waited for my good news this morning. I waited patiently and motionless forever. A creepy doctor finally came in at 9am which is really late for rounds. He said he would not release me from monitoring or bed confinement until the bleeding stopped. I said that will never happen, I have been bleeding for 7 weeks. He coldly said let's watch it for a couple more days. I cried for 45 minutes. You should have seen the monitors then, I couldn't breathe and was almost convulsing. I feel kind of silly admitting how emotional and broken I was, but I had struggled so long for the simple goals of being able to move, go to the bathroom and clean myself. My husband came to my rescue. One of the high risk doctors came in and I begged to be free, she agreed like it was no big deal since that was the plan all along. We are trying to figure out how to ban the mean creepy doctor and keep him away from me and off making any decisions about me.

Now I am relieved and things are looking up. I am extremely blessed with my husband who has been such a support. I could not have made it without his love and encouragement. I am so thankful for him being with me. This is more than I could have imagined during the "in sickness and in health" that we talked about in our wedding vows so many years ago. I know we are in this together and I can get through more setbacks - just hope we get a few more good days in the meantime.

I am thankful for all the encouragement and prayers during our time of need. My husband read all your notes to me and you encouraged us both. I don't know what a new realistic new goal is, probably 26 weeks. Lately we have only talked about staying stable. So I will just take it day by day and count every day past 25 weeks as a blessing for us.

Status change

The placenta is in bad shape. It is tearing and bleeding at the top of the placenta and not just at the bottom, as had been the case the last 7 wks. As the placenta tears more from uterus, baby gets less of what he needs to grow and develop. We are talking about days or maybe a week, rather than weeks or months. I am contracting, bleeding badly, on IVs and hoping to stabilize. Need your prayers now more than ever.




Jacob is 24 wks 5 days, still with strong heartbeat and has benefited from steroid shots. Please pray for our fighter to hang on inside me (every day counts) and pray for the nicu doctors who will care for him when he comes out early.

A Sigh of Relief.....

After 6 weeks of bed rest, bleeding every single day, some days with cramping, three scares involving hospital visits..... we finally made our first milestone, so I can breathe a sigh of relief. 24 WEEKS!! Jacob is considered viable and now they will do everything possible to save him if he comes early. I am now in the hospital for the duration, until he is born, and I feel a lot more safe and secure - for him. I had my first steroid shot to help his lungs develop quickly and the second will be tomorrow. I hear the side effects for me could be nasty, but so far I'm fine, and honestly, I don't care how bad the side effects are, I just want him to be as safe as possible.

We also had an ultrasound which is pretty much the same as far as placenta and bleeding - it hasn't healed in six weeks so they really don't expect any improvement. The doctor tells us they will do everything possible to keep the baby inside me, including blood transfusions, if necessary. So we are not in any immediate risk of delivery now, and they expect I will be in here a long time. In fact, They are planning to move me to a big "Cadillac" room tonight reserved only for long term high risk ob patients. My current room is ok, but the bigger room should be better for visitors, especially the kids. One new risk is that the amniotic fluid is a little low, not a huge concern now, but we are still watching for early rupture of membranes that is often caused by bleeding irritating the uterus.

The kids are coming out to see me here for the first time tonight. This is the downside of being in the hospital and I am praying it's not too difficult on them. We want them to see and know that I am ok, and are trying to make my room fun with new books and toys that stay here.

Before I finish, I want to reflect on the last week and what I'm thankful for:
- That the week passed quickly so we could reach our milestone for some peace of mind
- For a smooth transition of my work duties so I don't have any guilt or nervousness over loose ends
- A huge thanks for family coming in town to support my husband's marathon and me and Jacob
- Thanks to mother-in-law and father-in-law for making a big deal out of the marathon and making us feel special
- Thanks to sister-in-law and brother-in-law for the amazing cooking - I enjoyed their meals and leftovers for 8 straight meals and did not get sick of anything
- Thanks to our friends from the kids school who made a perfect meal the kids just loved and finally broke the cycle of way too much peanut butter and jelly - makes me happy to see the kids eating real food.

And a big thanks for all of the prayers and support that got us here to this point. Looking ahead, we are praying for no new surprises, early labor or water breaking. Our next mini-milestone is 25 wks, which is next Wednesday, when survival rates jump from 50 percent to 75 percent. But our next big milestone is 28 weeks, so please pray for Jacob to stay put until October 6!